"Adoption Miscarriage" Part 2

A letter to our social worker:

Hi H~

We've been talking a lot this weekend about "what next" and how to proceed. I think my sickness was a blessing in disguise. We just don't feel like any of our three options (DRC, Phil., or domestic) are right at this time. Without specifically having M. in Sierra Leone, we don't feel like right now is the right time. L is still pretty young, and we have time. :)

A thought that has been recurring in my mind since L was born is that if we are to have an infant again, we might have to wait until L and Kj are in school, so I can sleep during the day with the baby. I really don't do well with waking up a lot in the night. Kevin actually was much better at that. He would actually hear the girls and I would generally sleep through it all...except when nursing that doesn't work so well.

Some questions to consider as we pause for now...How long does our agency registration last? Do we finish our homestudy now and update it when we are ready to continue again? Should we just wait for all of that?

Here are some things I have found about DRC adoptions, if you want to look at them or pass them on or just delete them! ;)

http://congoadoptions.blogspot.com/ --a listing of blogs of families adopting from DRC
http://homewiththedavises.blogspot.com/ --this lady I have been in contact with. She is very willing to share and answer any questions about adoption and One World Adoptions.

Some questions and thoughts about adopting and choosing an international agency:

http://kitumaini.blogspot.com/2011/08/for-all-of-us-adopting-parents-and-for.html
http://kitumaini.blogspot.com/2011/09/babies-families-adoption-reunification.html
http://kitumaini.blogspot.com/2011/10/open-international-adoption-anyone.html

I have also made a stronger connection with someone from my church. She is in the midst of her adoption process and I am so thankful for the chance to get into it alongside her and continue to encourage and support her.

I will let you know when Kevin and I have come to any more conclusions and if you have any questions, answers, comments, advice please feel free to let us know!! Thanks so much! aj

"Adoption Miscarriage" Part 1

We have come across a few roadblocks and we are now putting our adoption plans on hold.

Some of the roadblocks:

• This last week we were supposed to take our adoption education class and I was sick and we had to cancel. (Kevin had the time off of work, and I encouraged him to still stay home. The first day he did a little painting and then took us all to the park. Him and the girls played and I just relaxed and read on the sidelines. The second day we were able to eat lunch with friends and head to Bumpa and Nana's house to spend the night. It was a wonderful blessing!!) So, this big part of our homestudy is put off until at least January.
  
• The Minister of Social Welfare that was going to lift the adoption ban in Sierra Leone was fired...and now we are unsure when the ban may be lifted or how the process will go once the ban has been lifted. We would maybe have to reside in SL for weeks or months and we aren't able to do that at this time.
  
• We came up with a few options of "Where to adopt" from next, but they all have questionable aspects. Meaning, we're not sure if they are quite the right fit for us.
  
• My sicknesses these past two weeks (and L's) included 3 doctor visits, 1 doctor call and 5 prescriptions and lots of laying on the couch for me. I could barely care for my 2 children. How can I add to that right now? They both (especially Kj) need some extra loving, snuggling and reassurance now to recover from my illnesses. It really affected Kj--she's been acting out a lot. I now know what happens to her when she doesn't have as much quality time/loving!!
  

Adoption Miscarriage. That is the term that Kevin used. We have told a lot of people that we are planning on adopting and they all expect to see a new little one in our family soon. They expect to hear our stories of anticipation, progress, and excitement. If we continue now, it would just be for appearances, because now you all know that we are adopting and are looking forward to that day with us. But we can't continue right now. We don't feel at peace about it. We can't make this life long decision with uncertainty.

One thing I have found in all my researching:

A lady who lived in the Democratic Republic of the Congo for 4 1/2 years started an organization to help fund an orphanage for babies whose mothers died in childbirth. The orphanage takes in the babies until they are 5 years old (school age) and then sends them back to live with their fathers. They also try to sponsor the children through their schooling. Here is her blog and her organizations website. Her blog has a lot of good questions to ask if you are wanting to adopt internationally...and right now I can't find that specific post...

Just Bits

• On the adoption front: We are currently researching "other" countries (including our own) for adopting. We will probably let little M go as the adoptions are currently closed in SL and we're not sure about the process length etc. Democratic Republic of Congo is what we are doing most of our research about right now.
  

• Painting: Ah, I got to paint my way through last Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. It was quite enjoyable, as it was a change of pace for me. My mom was here to take care of the girls and paint shutters at naptime. We got a lot accomplished. On Thursday, I was realizing that I was a sporadic painter. I had to finish up a bit of priming before starting with the true house color. So, I was here and there and everywhere, and then as I started the true color, I did the same as I had to paint the dry spots. It kept me interested. :) Friday, I was a little more organized. Saturday, I lost my momentum as Kevin was back from his conference and was doing most of the painting. I'll have to get back to it in a couple weeks. It's my turn again. He finished up the peaks and now I have to do the second coat down below.

• Daycare: It's going well. The kids are getting along great and Kj takes good care of E when I am out of the room. They are good for entertaining each other and I am getting a taste of parenting 3. But...our time with E is almost over...it seems. Two weeks remaining. We'll see in October if I get more done or less done throughout the day!

• New season: You would think that with no kids in school one season would just run into the next with little to no change, besides the wardrobe! Well, tomorrow the girls and I start up BSF and Kevin starts clubs at church while I sit with the couch ladies and get our girlfriend time! I'm really looking forward to these things. Something really nice about our Wednesday church night is that they provide a meal. So, instead of Kevin rushing in the door, changing, gobbling down supper, packing the family in the car and heading to church. Kevin gets home. He hugs us all. He changes. We pack in the car. We drive a couple miles. We go through the line to get supper. We find friends to eat with and then we carry on with the nights activities. Marvelous idea!

• L: She is hilarious! My friend described her as a little mime. She runs around doing, doing, doing things and back and forth and all around, and so animated. She cracks herself up sometimes too. Which in turn cracks us up!! I asked my friend if Kj and Z were this funny at this age. She said yes! I don't remember. I LOVE THAT GIRL! We went out to eat tonight and she waves at everyone going by our table and when she was done eating we set her on the floor to look at a couple tables and she peaked at people and got them to wave back.
  

• Kj: She's a thinker. My friend didn't eat her crusts and Kj asked why not. My friend told her that she had very old bread and that it was all dry. So, Kj stores this new excuse in her mind for a later date. She kind of looked at me and pointed to her crust...No, I shake my head, that's not going to work for you! At one time she found out that my mom couldn't eat dairy products, because "her body didn't like it." She's tried that line before. So funny! This evening when I needed to hold E to give him a bottle or hold L because she was hungry, Kj requested that I hold her and snuggle her while we walked. She's getting too big for that, but I am glad that she can tell us what she needs. She is such a "big girl". I LOVE THIS GIRL!

• Bedtime: It's getting earlier and earlier. Kevin, a while ago, was falling asleep on the couch. He is now up and moving around, but I know he's still ready. Me too!! Another big day tomorrow. Better get the rest while we can! Take care all!!
  

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Adoption Money 3

Say, we got another grant, but we need your help. The grant is through a store called Ordinary Hero. We are now an "affiliate" of them. If you would like to purchase something from there store, you can give 40% of the cost to our adoption agency for our adoption. As you are checking out, you need to find our name in the affiliate drop down menu. If you are following this blog without knowing our name, please contact us by commenting on this post. I will send you the info you need, or just pick someone on the list to help them out!!



P.S. If we sold 250 shirts, it would pay for our homestudy!

Adoption Monies 2

Rummage Sale - 50 cents per item - $200 made. Thanks to our friends and neighbors who donated items to be sold. There were still a lot left over, but over all, it was a success!! Yeah!

Grant and Adoption Monies

Applied to:

National Adoption Foundation

Sold 4 DVDs for: $5.98...not much but every little bit counts!
Bank rewards: $25

Thinking about:
Anna: selling her hair
Kevin: selling his life story

Other ideas you don't find on adoption websites...click here.

Getting Ready for a Rummage

I have been going through and through our house lately trying to find anything to put on our rummage sale. I keep going through the same closets and drawers and still find more. I guess I will be doing it until the day the sale ends.

My neighbor across the street mentioned a couple months ago that she is planning to have a rummage sale this summer. I kept asking, "When? When? When?" And finally a date. A few weeks from now. I decided to go with one plain and simple price: 50 cents. Also, a cause: our adoption. :) So, unintentionally at first, but now deliberately, I have been taking other peoples' thrift store items and piling the boxes in our garage.

How much do you think I could make? Probably not that much, but hopefully a little to offset the cost of an $800 adoption class coming up next month.

I read something that inspired me to find more...something asking what could I do without now to bring home a child. It kind of makes me want to find big things and sell for more, but I am going to keep the price what it is and if there are big things, I might just be crazy and sell them for 50 cents as well. :)

Also, update from my last post...I have an itching to prime some more, but didn't have any new trim ready, so I painted our bunnies. We have a set of 3 cement bunnies in our front yard and they were a little chippy, so I took out all my supplies that were patiently waiting for me in the fridge and painted the bunnies white. Not sure if I will paint another coat or not, or if tomorrow I'll paint the swan or the "urn". I never thought I would be into this sort of lawn ornamentation, but they have really grown on me in the 2+ years we have lived in our house. Why not care for them too! Below is a picture of the lawn decor.

Grant

First grant applied to:

His Kids Too!

Update: We got it...if you would like to donate, please let us know... :)

Registration with Adoption Agency

This first step is nearly complete. In just a few short hours, Kj, L and I will go and pick up a family picture that I ordered last night and we will hand deliver our registration application, most recent tax return, family photo and first big check. Yeah!! All on the way to pick up Kevin from work.

Also we received in the mail today all the paperwork that goes along with our homestudy. Can you guess what I am looking forward to doing this weekend (if there is any free time)!? AND we received our international application via email.

A little boost of excitement in my day. I also need to pack the car because Kevin has his 10 year class reunion this weekend. Looking forward to some fun times with our family and friends. Hopefully getting in some water as well!