Jehovah Jireh

When we tell people that our 7-month old foster baby, that we picked up from the hospital is heading home, the response is often, "Oh, that must be so hard."  I feel a bit "heart-less" when I think that it won't be.  This journey has been hard, the hardest in our fostering experiences, for many reasons.  I might share those reasons later, but for now, I'll tell you my response to their comment.

"God always provides for my heart."

He has in the past, He does today and He will in the future.  He uses timing, changing circumstances, peace that passes all human understanding...  I trust Him and His omniscience (his knowing of all things).  Also, I trust that He sees (El Roi), He defends (Jehovah-Maginnenu), He judges, He knows (omniscient)…  My God is a good, good Father.  He loves these kids and my kids better than anyone else ever could.  He is their Jehovah-Jireh (provider) and mine.

If you want to learn more about God's Names, there is a great book by that name to learn about them with kids:  God's Names by Sally Michael.

Idols

I read the article: When your kids won't bow to your idols, this past week.  Then, this weekend we took care of 2 extra kids (3 years and 6 months) for a few days.  Through the weekend the thoughts from the article kept coming to mind.  How am I reacting?  What are my idols in this situation?  It really impacted how I dealt with having Baby L...not suddenly, but gradually.  Last night, she fell asleep in our arms and we tried to lay her down a couple times after only a minute or two of snuggling. 

Then, it occurred to me that babies were made by God to be snuggled by there mama, because every time I lifted her up and layed her head against my chest, she instantly fell asleep (instantly - true description!).  Oh, when I realized that, I savored that time with her, and cried over her loss.  After a good long snuggle, she layed down just fine!  Then again at 3:30 a.m. (she typically woke up around 5:30), I enjoyed a long snuggle instead of the frustration of a baby awake in the middle of the night.  This sweet, beautiful, smiley little girl needed that mama loving!  While Kevin is missing Brother N, I am grieving Baby L's loss and desiring to snuggle her again (and mostly because of the real life application of this article.  My idols: sleep, baby obedience a.k.a. control, and yep, hmm...control!).

Bent Out of Shape

My life has been a little hectic lately.  In the middle of one Friday night, we accepted the call to take 2 foster kids for the weekend.  Well, that weekend turned into a week and that week turned into two.  Baby gates were needed, extra hands were needed, another pack and play, and three sizes of diapers.  My response has been roller-coaster-ish.  There has been laughter and tears.  I have tried to plan, but don't know the plan to plan around.  I am living in the moment.  Most afternoons are filled with two crying boys (one child that we took in moved on after a few days, so we are down to 2 sizes of diapers), and most evenings have been filled with less than loving responses to my husband's attempts to help.  I have had many broken moments, just crying out to God.  I can't do this!  Is that my selfish response or a right/normal/good response?  After the tears does come a peace though!!  Amazing how God works.  I broke, I told Him, He can fill me!  He can help me moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day.  My attitude and outlook is being adjusted (slowly).  After a impromptu fall break from homeschool, we are getting our school schedule adjusted and fitting it all in.  I still don't know the plan and what I do know makes me think that the weekend might run into yet another week.  I have had little encouraging things come at just the right moment: 

~At church on Sunday a verse was read in Second Corinthians 6 that mentioned "sleepless nights"...my response - God knows what I'm going through!!
~The sermon talked about all things giving God the glory, and are we doing any of this for our glory or for God's...my response - praying that this all is for the right reasons.
~A friend setting up meals for us (our family and another foster family)...my response - extreme gratitude!  It is getting easier, but it is amazing how little you can get done with 2 under 2.  
~This sweet face of our Mn:

 

So, after all that (hopefully it made sense), if I seem a little bent out of shape, forgive me!  I'm getting refined!  And hopefully my ring will be get the kink out soon too.  If you see that I'm not wearing it, don't assume that something is wrong between Kevin and I...I just felt securely claustrophobic!  He knows and he is very understanding!  Pray for us, would you!?  There are many scenarios that could play out and some of them require us to make a decision about the care of sweet boy (not pictured). 

Letting Go

This is what I was trained to do.  Love so much and be able to let them go.  God is good and his timing is perfect.

For the last two and a half weeks we have been waiting to let go.  We have been planning and packing, but didn't know the day or the hour.  Then it came suddenly.  "I'll be there in half an hour."  Wow, a whirlwind of activity pursued.  We had been prepared 2 weeks ago.  All the toys in a pile, all the clothes washed and extras packed.  And today...I searched everywhere to find those things again. 

Does this scenario sound familiar?  Well, two weeks ago when our letting go started, my Bible study was on being prepared.  Being ready for we don't know the day or the hour when Jesus will returned.  Yes, it is just a small reflection on what is in the Bible, but it made it seem real in my life. 

As, I passed through those weeks, my emotions flip-flopped and I felt callous for saying that I was ready.  I found out the truth -- I was not callous!  No matter how ready I said that I was, it was still tear-jerking letting him go.  The hardest part for me...he had no idea what he was getting into.  I buckled him into the social workers carseat and gave him some kisses...closed the door and waved.  The trust in his eyes.  Dear Lord, build that trust in him again in his new family.  Prepare the way!!  Bring him peace.  Goodbye dear one!  You have left my home but never my heart. 

Thank you to everyone for all of your support, prayers, babysitting, loving on him, caring for him, showing Jesus to him...

Challenge in Change

Re:  Change is not a threat (or surprise).  It's a fact.

"Change is a reality, and we're living right in the middle of it.  The good news is that God can be found right in the middle of it as well.  God does not change, but He uses change--to change us.  He sends us on journeys that bring us to the end of ourselves.  We often feel out of control, yet if we embrace His leading, we may find ourselves on the ride of our lives."

Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker (quote from Foreward by Brandon Hatmaker)

I borrowed this book through Inter Library Loan, it came from halfway across the country!  I only made it through the Foreward last night, but already it applied.  Our family has grown by one these last couple months and it has been a challenge.  Medically it has exhausting:  creams, antibiotics, doctor's appointments, pharmacy mix-ups, multiple clinic phone tag...  Change, this change has been wonderful (smiles, laughs, snuggles), but beyond us (medical needs).  (I'm afraid that our story may not motivate others to follow in our footsteps.)  Beyond us, but God has provided!  Jehovah Jireh (God the provider).  He has provided meals, prescription clarification, on-call doctors, nurses and pharmacists in the family, affirmation that we are doing the right thing, encouragement to persevere, pleasant weather so that our healthy half can play with the neighbors without infecting others!  ...etc.

We are also praying that Jehovah Rapha (God the healer) will wipe out these medical needs!  Pray with us?! 

Change.  Keep it coming.  Keep us focused. 

Lessons From Foster Care

• Take any new child in for a thorough physical to see if there is anything, ANYTHING that needs to be treated.
• If you have clues, about a previous illness, that have come with them, ask about them.  Push and prod until you know for sure that the illness is gone gone.
• Try to do this before coming into contact with all your family and friends.
• Persevere, all the love and work you are putting into this child will make a difference no matter the size. 
• Despite possibility of some illness, don't be afraid of loving them completely - and let your little girls love on them too.  
• Accept help from others.  
• Ask for help from others.  
• Get the sleep you need, even if all the linens, clothes, and cloth anything need to be washed and dried in high heat.  There is time for that tomorrow.
• If your child is fussy...lay them down and sing/play:  
• "Clap your feet  - clap feet to the rhythm
• All you people
• Shout to God with a voice of triumph
• Clap your feet
• All you people
• Shout to God with a voice of praise
• Hosanna  - alternate legs up and down
• Praise Him
• Shout to God with a voice of praise"  - clapping again
• My husband can take 2 seconds on my post and take the dots off the "list" that I just wanted to be song lyrics.
• Baths and splashing can be a reprieve (for parents) and a delight (for kids).
• Oatmeal baths are cheap and easy ("recipe")
• God is good, all the time.  All the time God is good.
• Pray!  Pray for perseverence, pray for the kids, pray for the parents, pray for change, pray for miracles, pray for courage.
• Make connections.  As we are now taking care of our first foster child we were given a foster parent mentor that we can call and email.  What a great idea.

Wow! Blessed!

Wow!  God is good.  Look at this pile.  We haven't been "doing" foster care for more than 2 weeks and some friends and their church small group, because of "orphan Sunday", decide to adopt us for a night.  They made reservations at a fancy restaurant, came to babysit our 3 sweethearts, sent us off and we came back to a pile of groceries besides (and a quiet house).  

Ephesians 3:14-21


For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name.  I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.  But I have to tell you about more:  

• The sweet lady that takes care of the girls during my Bible study brought us lunch when we couldn't make it out because of illness.
• Nana came to take care of overnight meds, so we could sleep, and let me run errands. 
• Aunt A brought her baby food maker one afternoon and made us carrots and squash.
• A friend brought us a meat and potatoes meal (with leftovers) one night.
• Another friend took from the excess of her son's clothes for our new little man to have a couple more items.  
• Oh, there's more, don't feel left out if I missed your story...I am thankful for all of you!!  

And I sort of felt like we were in this alone.  We don't know anyone close "doing" foster care.  We know many families that have adopted.  In the body of Christ we are not alone!!  

Makes me think of ways to pass it on... Step up, Anna, what can you do?

Girls vs. Boys

Just wanted to share an example of girls vs. boys.   L is playing the piano and B is shaking and eating the piano (pictures above and below).  That's all.

Sewing to Nursery

The start...  Ever since we moved into this house, this little room has been "mine".  I have used it for my sewing room/storage room, along with the adjoining closet.  This spring, I had to start giving it up.  Mentally first, but then physically.  Thankfully, Kevin doesn't mind that the sewing table fits in our room.  Eventually, I suppose it will in habit a corner of our basement, but for now, it uses a small portion of a walkway to my dresser in the master bedroom. 

After moving everything out of the room, the first thing to change was the walls.  And while we were at it we painted the ceiling!  This is actually the first room that I had any part of painting.  :)  Friends and family helped on move-in weekend painting the 2 main bedrooms, my mom painted my dining room and Kevin painted the bathroom (I've only painted closets so far). 

My mom visited for a week, to take care of the girls and then to help me with the painting.  Here she is rolling on the yellow. 

 

Prior to the room painting weekend, Kevin and I had found a dresser on Craig's List.  It was expensive, but just what we needed.  We headed over to take a look at it and decided against it because of drawer cracks, etc.  On our way home we saw rummage sale sign.  I asked Kevin to stop and we bought this changing table for $3!!  I painted it with closet paint (tan to white), and we found bins to use for drawers.  Kevin also took a part a wobbly table to put a shelf piece on the bottom level. What a handy man he is!

The final product (mostly) with the sunshine coming in!  Final home visit today!  I'm not sure how long after that.  Kevin was holding our 6 month old niece this weekend and said, "We need one of these."  :)  Maybe soon!  I had a quilt to put up on the walls, but the color didn't quite match (to my liking) so, I will have to rethink my wall decor.