So, this week has begun a new stage in parenting for me. I am testing the waters of potty training with my 1 1/2 year old daughter. I'm not really sure how much failure is needed to know if you should postpone this task, but when I feel like maybe it is too soon, there is success!!
I have learned that one potty training method is not the answer for every child. I have been asking around for advice from more experienced parents. One lady, who had run a daycare and done this with several children successfully said to put the child on the potty every 2 hours and let them sit there until they went. So, I decided to try this method first. She had success with it why shouldn't we?! Well, the first day of this method we had accidents every half hour for the first 2 hours...hmm...
Second method: sit your child on the potty every 30 minutes. It didn't say how long or if they needed to go before you let them up or whatnot so I made that part up. I have a timer that gives 10 and 5 minute warnings, and if you let it ring at the end for a bit the timer automatically starts over. So, I set it for 40 minutes and had her sit the last 10 minutes, or at least stay in the bathroom for that long. The result, after about 3 hours of these cycles, she used the carpet instead of the potty...less than one minute after getting off!! So, my daughter does not keep a schedule.
Quite by accident I came upon this third method: Girl to Mama: "Potty." Mama to Girl: "Oh, ok, let's go." Mama and Girl: Walk hand in hand to the potty. Girl: Goes potty. Hmm...now the question is: Will it work again? Well, we will find out after the nap. Do I use it in combination with other methods? Can I go out tonight with her and test it out?
Another thing that happened in the midst of our trial and error...The morning that she had accident after accident, I was trying to work on my Bible study...in the bathroom, don't you know! It referenced a verse in Proverbs 16, and so I decided to read it out loud to Kj while were waiting for her to go (this was during method 1). As I read verse 3, "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." I thought, I really need to pray that right now about this potty training...remember, I had just cleaned up 3 accidents in the last 2 hours and was wondering if I should really be doing this now...in the midst of committing the potty training to the Lord (yes, it sounds silly), I heard the welcome sound of SUCCESS!! I committed, we succeeded!! Yeah, God!! Note: this method 2.5 did not work the second time. I think God was just giving me a little hope when I needed it, telling me to persevere!
Oh, another method I came across and started using, but have since quit, is giving treats for success. Kj didn't seem to associate the treat with going potty, just sitting there and since has forgotten it altogether. Also, I was rereading some potty training tips and one mother had written that she doesn't use rewards (such as that) for any other good behavior, why should she start now. I completely agreed, again (after reading it a second time). One thing she really gets a kick out of is our chimes, she loves standing in the kitchen and pointing and blowing at the chimes to get us to ring them for her. So, I will try to make that our post-potty-success entertainment! Who knows if she will get that either, but might as well make it fun.
I just keep thinking of more things. Kevin reminded me of this today after the big accident. He emailed and said, "Keep trying, remember she's in control." You know why she is in control and not the parents?! Because potty training is a step toward independence! "Already, at 1 1/2!?" Yes. That is why patience, love, caring, encouragement is so necessary! If I get uptight or mad, it may set her back. Here is an exerpt from one article I read:
The best reward for good behavior remains parental approval. Telling your toddler that he or she has done something good instills confidence and is a powerful motivator. There is some evidence that the praise should be frequent, but that it shouldn’t be so enthusiastic that it ads to the pressure they are already feeling. Give your toddler ample praises when he or she uses the potty and congratulate and help your toddler when they tell you they have to go. Refrain from getting angry if the toddler has an accident, chances are they already feel bad. Anger may also instill anxiety and fear that will interfere with the toddler’s self-restraint and control. Exercising patience and kindness and with help will let the child know they are safe and loved, and learning the skills necessary for potty training will develop naturally. Potty training can be a confusing time considering all that’s being expected of your young child. Using positive reinforcement will take the edge off for the whole family.
Quoted Potty Training Article.
That is what I've got for now. Maybe more will come, but it probably won't be recorded in "good-blogger" fashion. I don't do well with the follow-ups that I intend, or even getting on here regularly. So, take care!
Lucky for you, I have a follow-up...a new method used by another friend (not yet tried by me): Her son did not like the feel of dirty pants. So, she also started potty training at 1 1/2. She put him directly in cloth training pants or underwear and if he had an accident, she would set a timer and let him sit in it for 5 minutes. Sounds a little "icky", but it worked!
Also, the general consensus that I hear is that disposable training pants are no good. It still takes the wet away from the child's skin and so they aren't bothered.
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